Somerset Maugham

Somerset Maugham

Funny quotes about life and money

Funny quotes - "When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet." -Nick Arnette

 

Funny quotes about life - "Money is like a sixth sense - and you can't make use of the other five without it." - William Somerset Maugham

 

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.

 

Nothing more clearly show how little God esteems his gift to men of wealth, money, position and other wordly goods, than the way he distributes these, and the sort of men who are most amply provided with them.

 

"If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem."

 

"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

 

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

 

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

 

"We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules."

 

"Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort." - Helen Gurley Brown

 

Funny money quotes - "Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate."

 

"A bank book makes good reading – better than some novels."

 

"I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed."

 

"Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves." - Albert Einstein

 

"Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure."

 

"Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it." - Rebecca Johnson

 

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.

 

Funny quotes - "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

 

"We ought to change the legend on our money from ‘In God We Trust' to ‘In Money We Trust.' Because, as a nation, we've got far more faith in money these days than we do in God."

 

Quotes - "If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around." -Christina Stead

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